


The beginning of a new age

by MrToddWilkins



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Denethor Bashing, Good Aragorn, Good Sauron, Inspired by The Last Ringbearer, Parody, everyone but Denethor is good, the dark is good, will be short
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 03:35:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22309456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrToddWilkins/pseuds/MrToddWilkins





	1. Denethor’s agenda

High in the tower of Minas Tirith sat Denethor son of Ecthelion,the Steward of Gondor. Denethor was at heart evil and mindless. He believed in the glory of men of Gondor. He hated everyone else:  
Rohirrim because they were 'dirty horse-fuckers',  
Elves because 'their days are past,they should leave Arda or we will destroy them',  
Dwarves because 'look at them,poor runts. They probably served the Dark Lord once',  
Halflings because 'they're fat and stupid',  
and Orcs because 'they are not,never were,and never will be children of Eru.'

On 26 October 3018 he summoned a council. This is what he said:

"General Radanir, son of Bretelweg, attend me.  
Today we march. Our goal - to rid the world of non-Gondorians. Imrahil,if he is not loyal to the Dark or Gandalf, will take his fleet up the falas and attack the Grey Havens of Mithlond. He will take Cirdan alive and bear him here. He will be paraded in the streets and executed before my throne. Then his filthy Elf-head will be mounted on the Tower.   
  
Imrahil’s son Erchirion will land in Mithlond and put every Elf to the sword. Their bodies will be dumped in the bay and set afire. This,as I understand from Kratom the sorcerer,will close the Straight Road. With 300 picked men he will advance,burning all in his path. He will invade the Shire and set the Hobbits to slavery. Once that is accomplished,he will find the One Ring which is in the Shire and send it here by messenger ship. Then I will claim it.   
  


While I do this,he will go on to Bree,burning the Old Forest in the process. Its protector will likely retreat into the shadows. Erchirion will occupy Bree and then continue the campaign to an invasion of Rivendell. He will kill Lord Elrond,take his Ring,and claim it in my name. Then shall he continue on to Moria,occupy it,slay the Balrog,attack Lorien,kill its King,and claim his Queen and her Ring for himself. With that complete he will invade and sack Mirkwood.

Faramir’s deputy Anborn will lead a seaborne invasion of Rohan and will also assault Isengard,putting Saruman to the sword. While he sacks Edoras,I will personally lead our forces into Mordor. The prophecy stated that one final combat would occur between the White Tower and the Dark Tower. I will slay Sauron myself with Escalibore,my sword,just as Isildur slew him an Age past. With his Ring I,as Tar-Denethor,eternal king,will forever hold dominion over Arda.”


	2. The realizations of the Ringbearer

In the end,Imrahil and Erchirion had chosen to betray their Steward. On 7 December they arrived in the Havens.

Cirdan came down from a tower. “What brings you?”

”Denethor commanded us to attack you. But we will not. We come in peace. Also,we have learned that Sauron is really good.”

”We had long suspected that. 25 years ago a group of Uruks settled in the out-market. They are faithful and honest in their trade dealings. We have sent ambassadors to the other Uruk colonies in Arda. They say Sauron only desires the Uttermost East.”

The Fellowship left Rivendell on 10 December and Gandalf chose to make his reveal on the 14th. They were 25 leagues from the elven city.

”So......Sauron is really a good guy?”

”Yes,Frodo. We will deliver him his Ring.”

Boromir said, “My father is grasping. He wants to kill everyone who doesn’t come of Gondorian stock.”


	3. Moria and Dimrill Dale

Even as an elven strike force withdrew from Moria,the Balrog already dead,the Fellowship approached on 22 December. Gandalf used the word _Mellon_ to gain passage to the abandoned mines.

”We will cross the mines in 3 days. On First Yule we should emerge into the sunlight.”

For two days,it seemed that Moria was abandoned. The water wheels still ground,but barely. The remains of bugbears and Orcs littered the ground. 

On 24 December at midnight the Fellowship came to Dwarrowdelf,where they found a pleasant surprise.

”Balin!”,Gimli said.

”Hello,dear cousin!”

Gandalf told the dwarves of their expedition and Balin’s friend Khil joined them.

”It seems that despite rumors,Saruman is not breeding Uruk-hai. He captured me as a feint _re_ Denethor. He had no evil intentions regarding me at all,or indeed anyone.”

They left Moria on 28 December and headed for Lothlorien.


End file.
